Skype: ilistentooldies
Instagram: yassanova
How to Grow the Fuck Up: Guides to Life


I know it can be a nightmare to dig through our tags and see all those asks and not the guides. So here is a handy-dandy list of all our “official” posts (plus a list of relevant asks at the end).


Nothing more relaxing than cutting up a cadaver after a long week.


every time I get a txt I wish I could have an automatic reply like ” thank you for your message friend! I noticed it and I will reply when I don’t feel like crap and I have enough energy to interact with human beings, from now it may take 3 - 7 business days (may take longer due to my fucked up sleeping pattern) best regards!

(via affabl3)

I fucking miss her so much.

Beer and jazz while I study. And the love of my life is coming tomorrow to spend the week in SF with me. Life is good.



that tree looks so happy that it is receiving a hug from this child


sometimes you see a pun so artfully constructed you just have to stand back in awe.
Anonymous: you tell crazy stories but has a woman ever tried to kill you ?



This one girl accused me of cheating for having female friends (which i wasnt fucking or flirting with but was just cool friends I dont wanna talk to a bunch of niggas all day i need a female perspective on things) she was screaming at me for 20 mins straight

i dont argue back cause im laid back im just like mhmmm mhmmm looking in my phone checking sports scores and on twitter … so at one point she says “was the pussy atleast good my nigga?” i was like “mmhmm that shit was nice and tight”  all of a sudden i heard silence i look up shes like


*this is the moment where i knew i fucked up*

just looks at me like that for like 20 seconds “im like bae im just playing.. im just playing…”  she runs to the kitchen… and starts going in the drawers “im like shawty u needa chill”   im like “im just playing”

she pulls something out all i see was the light beam reflect off it

i get a good look i see this in her hand

im in the couch like

she starts running towards me so i open the door step outside then shut the door from the outside and use all my body weight to hold onto the door knob, She used to run track in highschool so i think she gon catch me so im like nah im not even gon run and get stabbed in the spine

she pulling tryna open it lol im in a project type building on the 12th floor man I was standing there for 43 mins shorty aint have an ounce of quit in her. People walking by laughing hearing her screaming at me

some middle aged lady walked by she was like 50 she was like “mmmmhmmm she caught your ass didnt she”

im like “ma’am help my arms tired”

she was like ahaaa nope “call that bitch you was fucking for help”  and walked into her apt

then shorties mom came out the elevator i was like thank god.. she was like oh lord what u do.. i was like “nothingg ma’am she got a knife i swear i did nothing ” her mom was like “kita put the damn knife down im coming in if u stab me imma beat your ass” i feel the pressure get off the door and i make a run for it i see her try to come chase me but her mom blocks her Im sure i coulda beat usain bolt in a race the way i was running

she was really gon stab me, If her moms aint come i woulda still been standing there holding the door to this day

I have tears. Real tears.




I don’t give a damn, I’m going to reblog this gif every time when it’s the 1st of the month.


I was just thinking about this 😭😩😂 happy September 1 y’all

I am going to name my daughter Destiny so I can introduce her kid as Destiny’s Child.

There are only two things of which I am certain: that I am alive and that I want you by my side until the day I no longer am.

Up since 4 and all I can think about is you.